Resolutions

A new year means a new look for the blog, I hope you like it. I’ve decided that for 2014 I’m going to focus on hitting several goals. It worked out well for me in 2013, so here we go.

1. Drink either more or less. I think I drink just about the right amount at the moment. I think one or two extra, or fewer, each night would be good, but I’m not sure which one it’ll be yet. One of them though, that’s for sure.

2. Become a millionaire. A several stage plan. First step, make a list of all of the millionaires. Second, using expert hunting skills, track and kill one of said listed millionaires. BECOME THE MILLIONAIRE. Go back to their home, their family, and take over their life.

3. Make more friends Hug strangers, use YOLO in public, that kind of thing. If in doubt, sit on a bus with a huge bin bag full of bricks, then, whenever a stranger gets on, tap the spare seat next to you excitedly and smile.

4. Understand the youth Do Charlie/Blow/Acid like all of the kids are doing, get really into selfies and twerking. Do something called a Miley Cyrus.

5. Consume Morrissey Meet Morrissey at a book signing/vegan convention/haircut palace,announce to him your intentions to eat him whole, sprinkle a generous helping of black pepper over his quiff and start eating his hands first. Absorb his soul. Write a novel.

6. Read more books. Or, read shorter books (pamphlets, flyers etc…).

7. Watch fewer TV’s Only own one TV, watch stuff on just that one.

8. Climb a mountain Either real or metaphorical. Maybe both simultaneously.

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